I tried to get the word out, but my get the word out skills are pretty rusty these days. So if anyone is still coming back here and wondering “What da heck, no new posts!!??!,” the blog has moved!!!
Check it out here http://secondimpression.chronicleblogs.com
Also, head over to
the Chronicle’s site, as recently a bunch of new Chronicle blogs have sprouted up! Check them out, but be sure to keep a spot in your hearts for little ol’ me 
A few days back my dad wrote me an email. I know what your´re thinking; your dad can use the Internet!? Even John McCain can’t use the Internet; perhaps your father should run for president! To that I respond with what he wrote: “Been reading your blog – the last one was weird. Maybe you can talk about funny life in Spain (yours, your classmates, teachers, etc.)? I’ll see if I can think of anything else for ideas. I don’t like Butterflies – they kind of scare me.”
That’s a completely unaltered piece of text from his email. My blog is weird Dad!? You´re the one who randomly talks about butterflies, sheesh. Now I admit, that quotation is taken very much out of context, but it´s pretty funny though right? Even in context (I had written him an email that talked about the cute little winged creatures for some reason), who would want someone who is afraid of butterflies ruling our nation (though President Bush is afraid of both pretzels and probably cooties)?
The reason I bring his email up though is because for once in his life, he’s actually right. He wasn’t right when he said HD-DVD was the way to go. He wasn’t right when he said the stock market would skyrocket this year. And he definitely wasn’t right the time I fell off the swing set and he said my arm was probably fine and that using the bathroom would make it feel better (it was broken in 4 places).
But this time, he’s right. I’ve been studying abroad in Madrid for a month now and it’s about time I wrote about it. The only problem is, there has been absolutely no “funny life in Spain.” You see, for the last few weeks, I´ve lived in a state of continuous fear (and the occasional feeling of gut wrenching pain when I turn the shower on too hot, but that can happen in the States too)!
Why the never-ending fright? Why the constant fear for my life? You see, I’m 99% sure my apartment is going be robbed soon. I can’t be sure exactly when, but definitely within the next week or so.
Intrigued? Sorry, that story will have to wait for my next post… I’d go into more detail now, but I want to tease you all and leave you on the edge of your seats!! Actually, the story of how I know I’m going to be robbed is a tad long, so I figured if I separated the posts it would be easier to digest.
But seriously, I honestly think I’m going to be robbed, so stay tuned! In the mean time, please watch the following video dramatization of how I think the aforementioned robbery will go down:
So in response to my previous post about the letter ‘m,’ my cousin Lindsay linked to this video in the comments (if you haven’t read the other post, do it now, it’ll change your life quicker than Garden State ever could, I swear):
If you haven’t read the other post, that video probably makes absolutely no sense to you. If you have, you may find it amusing and chuckle a bit. Clearly it would have been better had I found this video earlier and put it with the other post… almost to the point where its kind of silly for me to put it up. But there was something else I wanted to bring up; after watching the video, I came to a conclusion, and that conclusion is…
Sesame Street is pure evil.
Just watch that video… to think we grew up on that! Though on the surface it looks harmless (if only a bit creepy), if you actually listen to the words, you can see the awful prejudice and injustice it promotes!!!
What’s that you say? You say there is absolutely no way our beloved Sesame Street would do such a thing! Check out from 0:21 to 0:28 one more time… It says, and I quote: “The word man starts with ‘m.’ Daddy’s a man, and men have mustaches”
“…and men have mustaches” !?!??!!
This video clearly perpetuates the stereotype that in order to be a real man, one must have a mustache! There are millions of people in this world who choose not to have a mustache, why should that make them any less of a man! Its a personal choice! Are the bourgeois mustached producers over at Sesame Street unable to feel empathy for those who cannot grow a mustache?! Why must they go through life being second-class citizens! This is an outrage, its so disgusting to see things like this, almost makes me wish I lived in Canada.
The worst part, this is only one little clip. I’m sure if we comb through the Sesame Street archives, it only gets uglier… So I ask you to boycott Sesame Street, Duke students and fellow people of America! If you believe in freedom, liberty, and/ or ghosts, you believe the cookie monster’s cookie eating days should be over! End tyranny, no taxation without representation, and definitely don’t tread on me! To semi-quote Mel Gibson from the movie Braveheart: “They may take our lives, but they will never take, our lack of mustaches!”
(Thanks Lindsay for the video!)
Given that the title of this blog is ¨Making a good second impression,” I find it fitting to try and do just that with my second post. So here goes nothing…
The website I’m using for this blog, wordpress.com, keeps records telling you how many views your blog gets from people who found your site by using a search engine, like Google. They also tell you exactly what the person searched for. For example, if a person typed into Google “Awesome blog written by super cool cat that talks about zebras, Barbara Walters and pets named after famous people,” they find my site, click on it, and wordpress tells me about it!
So a few days ago I had a rather interesting one. Apparently somebody found my site by googling, and I quote: “What to tell interviewer how much I am m.” Alright, so you’re probably just as confused as I was when I first saw it, as it doesn’t seem to make much sense at all. But I think I figured it out.
“What to tell interviewer how much I am m” was clearly typed by neither man nor woman, but rather by a large walking, talking, living, typing lower case letter ‘m.’ Just get a good image of that in your head, a human sized living, breathing letter ‘m,’ sounds fun right? I know you guys are probably all banging your heads on your keyboards as you realize how it obvious it is (perhaps hitting the ´m´ key)!
Now beyond this, I am not 100% certain why he searched that, but I can make an educated guess. The most likely scenario seems to be that this ´m´ had a job interview, and it didn’t go very well. I mean, imagine an interviewer’s surprise when a talking lower case letter ‘m’ walks into the office. Here he thought the ‘ichael’ was accidentally left off the applicant’s name on his resume, but really, the guy is just a large letter ‘m.’
So this interview goes badly, as expected. The interviewer is shocked right when ‘m’ walks into the room. ‘m,’ seeing this, becomes nervous and starts to perspire. He starts mumbling his answers, becoming very anxious as the interviewer stares at him in awe. ‘m’ then makes some sudden movements, attempting to feign enthusiasm only to have his suit rip at the seams (you try getting a suit tailored to fit a walking letter ‘m!’) The interview ends, and as he walks out in shame, he gets stuck in the doorway, forgetting that doors weren’t built for wide letters (he also becomes sad he isn’t a letter “I”).
The letter ‘m’ goes home and, hoping to avoid the embarrassment he felt at the interviewer’s shock, googles “What to tell interviewer how much I am m” trying to find a better way to tell an interviewer about his “condition.” His eyes light up as he finds my blog promising a good second impression! Unfortunately he is let down, as my first post probably didn’t help him.
So in case ‘m’ stumbles upon this blog again, I thought I’d offer some advice for a good second impression. ‘m,’ if your out there, I suggest you give up the corporate world where your unique talents are lost. Instead, I think you should really look to apply for a job at Sesame Street. I hear the last ‘m’ had an identity crisis (stood on her head all day hoping to become a ‘w’), and there’s an opening in their letter of the day department.
Most importantly though ‘m,’ just be yourself! If the first impression goes badly, there’s always a second. Now if you blow that one too, sorry, I can’t really help you. Maybe there’s a “Making a good third impression” blog out there somewhere?!?
(Thanks Chris for the links…)
For those of you who don’t know me already, my name is Jacob Wolff. I’m a junior at Duke, but right now I’m studying in Madrid through NYU. I was really hesitant to disclose the fact that I was studying abroad as I’m told that Duke students don’t like reading columns/blogs from people studying as such. The way I see it though, I’ve also always been told its wrong for a 20 year old to wet his bed every night, but that’s never stopped me!
I figured I’d start off this blog with an introduction of sorts. Though I realize there are probably a grand total of 5 people reading this blog, those 5 people being my mom, dad, brother, grandmother and my dentist (I don’t know how he knows I never floss until 2 days before my appointment, but my theory is that it may be by reading his patients’ blogs), I think an introduction is still in order.
So I thought the best way to do this was through a series of hypothetical questions and answers. Who doesn’t like hypothetical questions and answers?
Interviewer: So Jacob, can you tell us a little about yourself?
Jacob: Well, I’m just your average Duke student. I like listening to music, watching movies, am a huge Duke Basketball fan, and I just loooooove to cuddle. I think that pretty much sums up the average Dukie.
Interviewer: So you’re studying abroad, how’s that experience going for you?
Jacob: I’ve been here for about two weeks now, and I have already learned so much about myself!!! I’d say the three biggest things I’ve learned thus far are:
Interviewer: Jacob, as you seem so charming, sweet, dashing, and are probably a really really really good dancer, I think the question on everyone’s mind right now is, are you single?
Jacob: Well I didn’t realize this was a dating show, but if you must know, yes, and I am ready to mingle.
Interviewer: Ready to mingle?!?!!?
Jacob: Hold your horses anonymous interviewer! I only said that because it’s a common phrase people say, and who doesn’t like a rhyme? My facebook profile doesn’t say looking for “random play,” so don’t get the wrong idea. I’m in it for the long haul, I want the white picket fence, the tickle fights, the 2.34 children, the sub-prime mortgage on my house that I’ll probably default on, the pesky neighbors who won’t turn down their blasted rock and roll music, the dog that just loves urinating on carpets, and most importantly a mini-van that has a bumper sticker that reads: “Soccer Moms have more fun.” So if this isn’t what you’re looking for I suggest you find another equally handsome blogger, though that most likely will be rather difficult.
Interviewer: Alright Mr. Picky, I get it… changing the topic, what’s this blog about anyways?
Jacob: In all honesty, I don’t quite know where this blog is going to take me (or my dentist/ avid reader for that matter). I do know I’m going to try and avoid boring you to death with silly study abroad stories with which nobody can really connect. It will however contain many references to that movie with the talking babies and John Travolta, though I can’t for the life of me remember what its called… Nevertheless, I will refer to it at least 4 times each post.
Interviewer: Last question, do you have messages for your readers back home?
Jacob: Well, as my family members (and dentist) are the only ones reading this, why not… Mom: Yes, I am wearing clean underwear, and yes, my roommates already have made fun of me because you wrote my name in sharpie on each pair. Dad: Just because I’m gone doesn’t mean you can turn my room into a shrine for your Beanie Baby/ Celebrity toenail clipping collection. We can discuss the option once you explain to me how those two things even remotely go together… Chris (brother): Though it may be satisfying at first, nose picking is the 345th leading cause of death in the U.S., so nose picker beware! Grandma: Hi! Dr. Walsh (my dentist): I think it’s about time you come to terms with the fact that flossing just isn’t my forte… I hope it doesn’t come in the way of our friendship!?!! Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me (yes, a Kim Possible reference…)
Well, its siesta time… I hope everyone comes back and continues reading! If not, its really ok, I’ve asked my mom to leave a bunch of comments under different names, so I won’t feel too lonely.
