For those of you who don’t know me already, my name is Jacob Wolff. I’m a junior at Duke, but right now I’m studying in Madrid through NYU. I was really hesitant to disclose the fact that I was studying abroad as I’m told that Duke students don’t like reading columns/blogs from people studying as such. The way I see it though, I’ve also always been told its wrong for a 20 year old to wet his bed every night, but that’s never stopped me!
I figured I’d start off this blog with an introduction of sorts. Though I realize there are probably a grand total of 5 people reading this blog, those 5 people being my mom, dad, brother, grandmother and my dentist (I don’t know how he knows I never floss until 2 days before my appointment, but my theory is that it may be by reading his patients’ blogs), I think an introduction is still in order.
So I thought the best way to do this was through a series of hypothetical questions and answers. Who doesn’t like hypothetical questions and answers?
Interviewer: So Jacob, can you tell us a little about yourself?
Jacob: Well, I’m just your average Duke student. I like listening to music, watching movies, am a huge Duke Basketball fan, and I just loooooove to cuddle. I think that pretty much sums up the average Dukie.
Interviewer: So you’re studying abroad, how’s that experience going for you?
Jacob: I’ve been here for about two weeks now, and I have already learned so much about myself!!! I’d say the three biggest things I’ve learned thus far are:
- Siestas are quite possibly the greatest invention this or any other world has ever come up with. So thank you, Tom Siesta, you wonderful inventor you! Gosh darn it, why can’t Americans realize that officially sanctioned nap time doesn’t have to and shouldn’t end after Kindergarten…
- Though not quite as good as a siesta, I also really enjoy Skymall magazines. I mean, that writing is just so spot on… It really tackles the most important issues facing us these days…
- Though Spanish food is tasty, I could really go for some Tommy’s right now (Duke reference!!!).
Interviewer: Jacob, as you seem so charming, sweet, dashing, and are probably a really really really good dancer, I think the question on everyone’s mind right now is, are you single?
Jacob: Well I didn’t realize this was a dating show, but if you must know, yes, and I am ready to mingle.
Interviewer: Ready to mingle?!?!!?
Jacob: Hold your horses anonymous interviewer! I only said that because it’s a common phrase people say, and who doesn’t like a rhyme? My facebook profile doesn’t say looking for “random play,” so don’t get the wrong idea. I’m in it for the long haul, I want the white picket fence, the tickle fights, the 2.34 children, the sub-prime mortgage on my house that I’ll probably default on, the pesky neighbors who won’t turn down their blasted rock and roll music, the dog that just loves urinating on carpets, and most importantly a mini-van that has a bumper sticker that reads: “Soccer Moms have more fun.” So if this isn’t what you’re looking for I suggest you find another equally handsome blogger, though that most likely will be rather difficult.
Interviewer: Alright Mr. Picky, I get it… changing the topic, what’s this blog about anyways?
Jacob: In all honesty, I don’t quite know where this blog is going to take me (or my dentist/ avid reader for that matter). I do know I’m going to try and avoid boring you to death with silly study abroad stories with which nobody can really connect. It will however contain many references to that movie with the talking babies and John Travolta, though I can’t for the life of me remember what its called… Nevertheless, I will refer to it at least 4 times each post.
Interviewer: Last question, do you have messages for your readers back home?
Jacob: Well, as my family members (and dentist) are the only ones reading this, why not… Mom: Yes, I am wearing clean underwear, and yes, my roommates already have made fun of me because you wrote my name in sharpie on each pair. Dad: Just because I’m gone doesn’t mean you can turn my room into a shrine for your Beanie Baby/ Celebrity toenail clipping collection. We can discuss the option once you explain to me how those two things even remotely go together… Chris (brother): Though it may be satisfying at first, nose picking is the 345th leading cause of death in the U.S., so nose picker beware! Grandma: Hi! Dr. Walsh (my dentist): I think it’s about time you come to terms with the fact that flossing just isn’t my forte… I hope it doesn’t come in the way of our friendship!?!! Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me (yes, a Kim Possible reference…)
Well, its siesta time… I hope everyone comes back and continues reading! If not, its really ok, I’ve asked my mom to leave a bunch of comments under different names, so I won’t feel too lonely.
